When I was thirteen I started shaving my arms because I read in an article that models did so that their skin looked smoother. I had been shaving my arms (and the rest of my entire body) ever since, until recently when I decided to let my body be as natural as it could be and stopped shaving other than my armpits and occasionally my legs. It’s been about a month since I decided to do that and tonight as I was shaving I just didn’t stop. I have no idea why I threw away a month of a growth that had almost become a spiritual experience for me, but I didn’t even realize that I was doing until I had half way finished with one of my arms.
I’ve had this problem since I was a preteen. I would get really into becoming something or someone and when I finally got there I’d get bored and start becoming someone or something else. I have no idea why it’s become so impossible for me to enjoy the end of a journey, but this problem has really caused some difficulties in my life. I cannot live in a place for more than three years without getting terribly bored and done with the place. I cannot keep my hair looking the same for longer than a month. There have only been two constants in my life ever. Those being my family, and my zeal for religion/spirituality.
I’ve always been a very Water type person; constantly changing, moving on to the next thing, trying to experience everything I possibly can, and… Well, it’s exhausting. I’m tired now. I’m nineteen years old and I’m tired. I want to be able to enjoy the now. I want to reap the rewards of sticking with something for once. I feel like I have officially moved out of my Maiden stage. I believe I am done sowing seeds. Now is time to tend the garden that is my life, watch it grow, and then harvest and really truly cherish the fruit of my labor.